The Dalai Lama posted something on Facebook that got me thinking …
Do YOU Have an Alert and Calm Mind?
When you understand fully what you stand for and what you stand against, it becomes easy to flow with the events of daily life with a sense of adventure and joy.
Do you have that yet?
Still your mind and ask what you stand for and what you stand against. Being an ‘anythingarian’ is not a relaxed state. Not everything is positive, and if you refuse to acknowledge when things are awry, you lack the ability to discern what is good for you from what is bad. Imagine doing that with food. All food is good. Must accept all food. Think that would lead to good health?! The same is true of relationships and emotions. There is balance.
What brings you peace and fulfilment? Do more of that. What brings you pain and unease? Do less of that.
There’s no need to be hostile, by the way. Labelling others as ‘bad’ doesn’t bring about balance. It simply feeds your ego. That’s not what I’m talking about here. Other people do not have to be like you. I’m not on the same religious path as the Dalai Lama, for instance, but I think he rocks!
Judge people on the basis of their current consistent actions. When you see people behave in a way that is out of alignment with their ethics, and your own, and they try to take you along for the ride, DO NOT jump on that train. Stand your ground and hold a higher expectation for them.
It does not matter whether you perceive them to be your peers or your ‘superiors’. If you CARE about others, you will not celebrate their bad behaviour. Instead, be clear with them about the traits you do value. Again, this isn’t about making them become like you. It’s about holding a higher expectation of their behaviour than they currently display. It’s about holding a vision of their best self while they’re not holding that vision for themselves.
If they step WAY out of line, distance yourself from them. Drowning with them saves nobody. Instead, get to shore and throw them a life raft. It is up to them whether they use it or not. If they do, and they raise their own ethical standards, forgive them. If they don’t, help others who will.
In either case, do the things with your life that are right for you. The decisions of others do not determine your inner strength. “Our human intelligence tells us which of our emotions are positive and helpful and which are damaging and to be restrained or avoided.” Learn when to avoid people, and why.
Whatever your beliefs, remember to believe in yourself. It is not necessary for others to believe in you for you to believe in yourself.A side effect of doing so, however, is that it is positively contagious. As others witness you living your dreams, with integrity and without apology, they will do the same. You will notice that they believe in you, and if you’ve moved far enough down the path, that will be less important than the other thing you notice … that they believe in themselves.
Does this resonate with you?
Leave a comment and tell me how.
P.S. Something amazing happened last week that means it’s going to be way better for you if I postpone my Right to Write launch for a little while. It’s huge! All will be revealed soon.
P.P.S. If you’re intrigued by the idea of having a coach, and you’ve noticed how amazingly Jane Orlov’s business has taken off since she started working with me early this year, get in touch and I’ll tell you the different packages I have available. Getting booked up for 2013 pretty fast, so now’s the time to act. Send me an email through the form on the front page.